For Richer or Poorer

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Have you ever wondered how so many marriages, especially Christian ones, can be torn apart and end up in divorce due to finances? Why is it that we can read in the Word the effects money can have on us, but don’t apply it? Why is it that we can read and receive it in our personal walk with The Lord but don’t let it filter into our marriage relationship?

I Timothy 6:10 (NKJV) reads “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” When we are standing there hand in hand, in front of God, at the altar on our wedding day, “for richer or poorer” is one of the vows that we say to one another. This is something we may only perceive from the worldly perspective of money and allow the stresses of finance to affect our marriages. Imagine if we didn’t give that kind of weight or love to money. This is how we can keep from giving it any control over us.

My wife and I have gone through many trials, one of which was our finances. We believed that we could control that aspect of our lives, despite giving control over other areas to God. We were living well beyond our means and not allowing our Father to provide for us, as we needed. When we finally surrendered our finances to God, started fully tithing and realized that we couldn’t control any part of our lives without Him. That is when we were finally free of those stresses. We eventually lost our house and many other possessions when we did this, but it gave such a freedom in our marriage that we couldn’t imagine it any other way. Some of our happiest times were when we had the least amount of wealth or possessions. We were free to just love and serve God without being bound to this world by it’s stuff. Just like many areas in this world, money will inevitably be a stressor, but we can decide how much worth we give to it.

I’m curious, what if we were to change our perspective on this marriage vow and how we see it? What if we realize that money will come and go? That it is not a Kingdom minded thing but only an earthly possession? What if we gauged our marriages as rich or poor based on our spiritual wealth and not our monetary worth? What if we truly made our marriages Heavenly minded and not earthly bound? All questions that can guide us to how God wants us to deal with money in our marriage, and lives.

When I think of the vow “For Richer or Poorer”, I want to view it in a way that can strengthen our relationships spiritually instead of harming them. I want to avoid approaching our marriage as being spiritually “poor” because we aren’t walking in God’s Word. We should not allow our relationship to be affected by things such as our account balance. If we could work on being spiritually rich instead of earthly rich, we can align ourselves with the heart of our Heavenly Father and the fact that He will provide our for all of needs. We should not give strength to the things that we can obtain from this world and lose just as quickly. Rather, put our trust completely in Him and allow His presence in our lives to define whether we are “rich” or “poor.”

A final thought; many of us love to use the phrase, “Don’t tell God how big your problems are. Tell your problems how big your God is.” That statement carries true with our finances and how we perceive our wealth. Our worth should not be defined by our finances but rather be defined by the sacrifice that Christ gave, which is worth more than anything this earth can provide. Let this be the focus of your life and/or marriage. We can’t allow the enemy to use such a worldly thing to break our relationships apart. Let God tell you how wealthy you are and not the world.



Rich & Yoly McCarthy




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